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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28352304">If we should fall to pieces, find me where I first found you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/soul_wanderer/pseuds/soul_wanderer'>soul_wanderer</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Lucifer (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Breaking Up &amp; Making Up, Demon/Human Relationships, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Family, Family Fluff, Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy, two mums</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 21:06:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,424</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28352304</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/soul_wanderer/pseuds/soul_wanderer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Chloe and Maze see each other again years after their first meeting and Chloe is finally ready to tie up loose ends and reunite their family</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Chloe Decker/Mazikeen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/s_bunch1/gifts">s_bunch1</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chloe had expected a lot of people when she had walked into Lucifer’s club, she really had, but she certainly hadn’t expected-</p><p>“<em>Maze</em>”, she whispers and stops dead in her tracks, especially when the woman in question slowly turns around where she’s standing behind the bar to look at her.</p><p>“Decker”, Maze sounds reserved, her voice barely giving away any emotions, but there’s a flicker in her eyes that Chloe knows all too well.</p><p>“Lucifer isn’t here” she tells Chloe, who just stares at her for another long moment before responding “yeah, but you are. I mean, what-“ and she really doesn’t know what to ask, doesn’t know what to say, because <em>really</em>, she hadn’t expected to ever see her again and she’s not too sure if Maze even wants her around right now.</p><p>“Lucifer needed help, I was bored” Maze shrugs, but her façade is quickly crumbling and she curses herself that Chloe’s presence still had this effect on her after all those years, “-and I wanted to make sure that you and Trixie were okay”, she almost softly adds.</p><p>“How do you-“ Chloe begins to ask and quickly stops herself, but Maze answers her question anyway “Lucifer told me her name. But I also tried to stay somewhat updated on your life. Just to make sure you’re okay. Both of you”, and Maze busies herself with cleaning the glasses while she says that because everything about this conversation felt too emotional for a demon.</p><p>Chloe isn’t even upset, because Maze might seem cold and uncaring on the outside, but she was always looking out for the people she cared about. Even if those people left her years ago and possibly broke the heart she argued she didn’t have in the process.</p><p>“Now either leave or sit down already and take a drink. I won’t be offended either way” Maze tells her, and Chloe knows it’s true, there would be no hard feelings if she just turned around and left now. But she doesn’t. She can’t. Not again, not this time around. She finally begins to move towards the bar, sits down and accepts the drink, relaxing a little at the familiar burn down her throat because Maze was never one to half-ass drinks.</p><p>“I’m sorry” Chloe says after a long moment and Maze lets out a low chuckle at that “That’s such a human thing to say”.</p><p>“Doesn’t make it less true though”, Chloe argues, well knowing that a simple sorry could neither explain her feelings nor make up for what happened, but she had to offer something, <em>anything</em>, anyway.</p><p>“You do know that I’m not mad at you” Maze half asks, half points out and Chloe sighs at that “But you have every right to be. And I’m still sorry that I was such a jerk all those years ago. I wish I hadn’t run away”.</p><p>“I get it though” Maze shrugs, features finally softening a little now, “You were young and it’s not every day a demon knocks you up without a forewarning”, she almost smirks a little at Chloe now.<br/>
“And maybe I should have tried harder to make things right again after you ran, but I didn’t want to add more misery to your situation and thought you’d be better off without me”, it was rare that Maze admitted any kind of weakness or mistake, so hearing this meant a lot to Chloe.</p><p>“I thought so too”, Chloe quietly replies, “I mean, I was pissed. And scared. And alone. But I still thought my life would be better without you in it. But maybe I just would have needed some space, because the moment I went into labour and the moment Trixie was born- god, I was so happy, but I’ve also never felt so alone in my whole life”, her voice is almost breaking at this confession but she doesn’t care because she didn't feel like lying about this to Maze anyway. </p><p>“I wish I could have been there for you”, Maze half whispers and after a long moment of silence she adds “I went to the hospital that night to see you one last time before I finally left the city. You were asleep and Trixie was all bundled up in the crib next to you. She was perfect and I almost couldn’t leave when I saw her”, Maze averts her gaze because she doesn’t want Chloe to see just how much this was still affecting her years later, especially since she's at least half sure that those were feelings demons weren't supposed to be able to have.</p><p>Chloe however is in tears when she hears this, but she knows it wouldn’t help to dwell on the could-have-beens.<br/>
“You are right, maybe it was best that you left. Maybe it wouldn’t have worked back then”, and it pains Chloe to say this, but she has to acknowledge that they both weren’t in the best place to figure out their relationship while Maze was still trying to figure out how to function on earth in the first place, “but that doesn’t mean that I don’t want you to be a part of Trixie’s life now” she softly but seriously adds and Maze looks up at that again to make sure Chloe really meant what she had said.</p><p>“Did you ever tell her?” She asks and Chloe shakes her head “I didn’t want to make things complicated for her and I think she wouldn’t have understood anyway. It’s also probably not the best idea to have a kid running around, telling everyone that their other mum is a demon”, she grins a little at that and Maze smiles at the thought as well.</p><p>“I didn’t do it because I didn’t want her to know about you, but to protect her”, Chloe explains and Maze nods in understanding.</p><p>“What about Dan?” Maze now asks, and Chloe makes a face at the question.</p><p>“I thought it would make things easier. To have a partner. To have someone I could introduce as Trixie’s dad. He’s a good person and he’s a good dad too, at least he’s trying to be. But in the end it just wasn’t enough, but I will be forever grateful that he never even thought of leaving Trixie without a dad, even when we split up again” Chloe’s voice is quiet and Maze empties her own glass before nodding.</p><p>“Well, I’m glad you have him. Even if you totally could’ve gotten someone better” Maze smirks and Chloe grins at this very typical, slightly teasing response.</p><p>“You mean, like a demon” Chloe smirks and this time it’s Maze’s turn to grin “Absolutely”.</p><p>A moment of silence passes between them, but it’s not uncomfortable and Chloe softly speaks up again after finishing her drink “I really meant what I said. I want Trixie to meet you and I want to be honest with her about who you are, but only if that’s what you want too”.</p><p>Maze sees that Chloe is almost scared to hear her answer and even though all these human feelings were still scaring her some days, she would be damned if she broke Chloe’s heart all over again. Well, she was damned either way, but this wouldn’t be yet another reason to be added to the list of whys.</p><p>“I would like that”, her response is soft, just like Chloe’s smile that follows when she offers dinner at her place and sees Maze nodding once more, meaning that Trixie would get to meet her other mum after all.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chloe is nervous when she puts some finishing touches on their dinner. She isn’t nervous about Trixie meeting Maze – Trixie loved meeting new people after all – but she was nervous about the questions that would inevitably follow when they told her who Maze really was.</p><p>She doesn’t get to dwell on these things for too long though, because just then Trixie bounces back into the room, all hyped up and ready for their guest, wearing the fanciest dress she could find for the occasion.</p><p>“Do you think Maze likes spaghetti?”, She asks and Chloe softly smiles at her.</p><p>“I’m sure she will, especially because you helped making them”, she reassures her daughter who was grinning right back at her.</p><p>Trixie is at the door before Chloe has even fully registered the doorbell and she would reprimand her for opening the door all by herself but knew it would be to no avail while she was excited like that.</p><p>“Hi Maze”, Trixie grins when she opens the door, and Maze does her best to smile back at her “hello small human”.</p><p>“You’re funny”, Trixie giggles a little and immediately takes Maze’s hand to pull her towards the table. Maze looks insecure because she definitely wasn’t used to being around kids, much less kids that didn’t seem to know personal boundaries, but, for some odd reason, she wasn’t entirely hating it either.</p><p>“Mummy and I made spaghetti for dinner”, Trixie smiles up at Maze and waits for her reaction and Chloe intensely looks at Maze until she gets the hint and actually responds to the girl “Sounds good to me”, which seemingly satisfies Trixie because she finally sits down for dinner.</p><p>“Thanks for coming”, Chloe quietly tells Maze when she sits down too and Maze barely manages a nod before Trixie begins talking to her again. Chloe relaxes a little bit when Maze tries her best to follow Trixie’s stories and stay engaged with the girl, sensing how hard this must be for her, though she was gradually relaxing too because she really seemed to like Trixie already.</p><p>Trixie seemed to be especially excited when she hears that Maze has already worked with Lucifer in the past and that’s when a genuine smile appears on Maze’s lips, even if the most she knows is that they both took care of the ‘bad guys’, just like mummy did.</p><p>“Wonder where she got that special interest from”, Chloe smiles at Maze, who smiles back at her “well, her mum is a detective, so”, even if she gets what Chloe was trying to say.</p><p>“I can show you my knife collection sometime”, Maze offers and when she sees the look in Chloe’s eyes quickly adds “if your mum is okay with that”.</p><p>“Oh please! Mummy, can I see it?”, Trixie asks and Chloe knows there’s no point in telling her no when she was this genuinely excited.</p><p>“Okay, but be careful”, She reminds Trixie who vigorously nods in response.</p><p>“Don’t worry, Decker, I’ll make sure she still has all of her fingers afterwards”, Maze reassures her, and Chloe thinks that this is as good as it’s gonna get with Maze.</p><p>“Hey monkey, do you wanna get the chocolate pudding?”, Chloe asks Trixie who grins and nods while already jumping off her chair to race to the kitchen.</p><p>“She seems to be pretty okay for a small human”, Maze turns to Chloe who smirks a little at the statement.</p><p>“Thanks, I think so too”, Chloe chuckles.</p><p>“You did a good job with her. I’m not sure I could ever be the kind of parent you are, but-“, Maze trails off, unsure of how to proceed here.</p><p>“I mess up all the time, trust me. But she likes you and I still think she deserves to know the truth”, Chloe quietly but seriously tells Maze.</p><p>“If you’re sure of that”, Maze’s voice is just as quiet now, “I think it would be an honour to be a part of her life in any way you’re willing to have me around”.</p><p>Before Chloe can reassure Maze once more, Trixie is already coming back with the first bowl for Maze.</p><p>“Thanks kid”, Maze smiles at Trixie who quickly gets the other two bowls before settling down again.</p><p>There are actually a few moments of quiet while they all eat their dessert and Trixie is happy when they all settle down on the couch afterwards because it usually meant that she was gonna get cuddles from her mum.</p><p>“Hey monkey, do you want to hear a story?”, Chloe gently asks her and Trixie smiles and nods at that and half whispers “yeah”, because she was always ready for a good story.</p><p>Maze is visibly tensing up, knowing what would follow and hoping for the best, but almost expecting the worst at the same time.</p><p>“You remember how I told you that Lucifer isn’t actually from earth and that he can do things others can’t do?”, Chloe asks Trixie who nods “Uh huh”.</p><p>“Well, Maze isn’t from earth either and that’s why she’s a little different from other people too”, Chloe explains, and Trixie looks at Maze with wide eyes at this new information.</p><p>“Is that where you know Lucifer from?” She asks in a high-pitched voice and Maze shakily smiles and nods “yeah, we’ve known each other for a really long time”.</p><p>“And I already told you that Maze is an old friend and that we met before you were born”, Chloe now reminds Trixie to make sure she would really understand her. “And Maze and I really liked each other a lot, you know?”, she continues and Trixie grins a little at that “I already know where babies come from, mummy”, she tells her, making Chloe smile and Maze smirk “Smart kid”.</p><p>“I know we already talked about how your daddy hasn’t been around from the beginning but that he is still your daddy and always will be” Chloe gently adds and Trixie seriously nods at that. She had actually never been too worried about that part, because having her dad around is all she has ever known, so it didn’t matter to her if they were related by blood or not.</p><p>“But that also means that when I got pregnant with you, I was with someone else” Chloe tells her and it’s obvious that Trixie is beginning to put the pieces together now.</p><p>There’s a moment of silence before “You mean Maze?”, Trixie asks and then looks from her mum to the woman in question.</p><p>“Yeah, I mean Maze”, Chloe almost whispers, still waiting for Trixie’s reaction to the news.</p><p><em>“That’s so cool</em>” Trixie whispers and then beams at Chloe who’s taking a shaky breath and smiling back at her through some tears.</p><p>“Does that mean I have two mummies <em>and</em> a daddy?” Trixie can barely contain her excitement any longer now.</p><p>“If that’s okay for you – yes” Chloe nods and smiles at how simple everything seemed to be for her.</p><p>“The other kids are gonna be so jealous!” Trixie grins, clearly not hating this new situation.</p><p>Chloe gently squeezes her at that before speaking up again “I know you probably want to tell everyone about this – and that’s okay. But you know how I told you that Maze is a little different, just like Lucifer? And how we can’t tell others about that? You can tell others that Maze is your mum – if that’s okay for her. But we can’t exactly tell people that she’s the reason I got pregnant, because then people might figure out that she’s not from earth” Chloe very carefully tries to explain the situation to Trixie without confusing or upsetting her.</p><p>“Okay”, Trixie nods, “it can be our family secret”, she whispers and grins at Chloe who can’t quite believe how easy that has been.</p><p>Maze is clearly trying to ignore the tears in her own eyes, especially when Trixie turns to look at her again and the next thing she knows, Trixie is sitting in her lap to get a close look at her.</p><p>“So you liked mummy a lot?”, Trixie grins and presses her nose against Maze’s.</p><p>“Yeah”, Maze doesn’t quite know how to feel about the sudden closeness but can’t help but notice the warm feeling that is slowly spreading through her chest.</p><p>“And do you still like her?”, she continues her interrogation, only to be interrupted by Chloe “Trixie!”.</p><p>Maze ignores Chloe and focuses on Trixie instead “I do, she’s pretty great. And so are you”, she almost softly smiles at the girl.</p><p>“Thanks, mummy thinks so too” Trixie smiles and then adds “And mummy is great too, she’s just a liiiittle stressed sometimes and needs to chill”, with a grin.</p><p>“I shouldn’t let you hang out with Lucifer so much”, Chloe sighs.</p><p>“Lucifer is probably right though”, Maze smirks.</p><p>“Lucifer also thinks bedtime is never and chocolate cake is a parenting tool”, Chloe points out.</p><p>“I think Lucifer has the right ideas”, Maze smiles, making Trixie grin and Chloe glare at her.</p><p>“But you should still listen to your mum. She did a pretty good job so far after all”, she adds with a soft smile and Trixie seems to agree with her on this.</p><p>“Are you gonna stay the night, Maze?”, Trixie now asks and Chloe looks mortified all over again.</p><p>“If your mum is okay with it”, Maze tentatively replies, not wanting to overstep any boundaries this soon.</p><p>“Can we have a sleepover, mummy? Please!”, Trixie downright begs and Chloe knows she doesn’t stand a chance like that.</p><p>“Sure, why not. But only if you get all ready for bed now. And no complaints”, Chloe tells her and Trixie nods real hard before running off to do as she was told.</p><p>“Is this really okay with you?”, Maze asks and Chloe nods after a moment of contemplation.</p><p>“It makes Trixie happy. I also still can’t believe this went so well”, Chloe breathes out.</p><p>“She’s a good kid”, Maze nods, clearly a little lost in her own thoughts.</p><p>“She’s our kid”, Chloe whispers, as if this fact is sinking in all over again.</p><p>“How do we go on from here?”, it’s Maze who asks the heavy question after a moment of quiet has passed between them, but for some reason it didn’t scare Chloe any longer.</p><p>“We take it one step and one day at a time. That’s pretty much what parenthood is about. I won’t ask you to take on any responsibilities, but I will ask you to not leave Trixie because she doesn’t deserve this heartbreak. You’re always welcome here and I want you to be a part of this family. Everything beyond that is something we can figure out along the way”, Chloe is as honest with Maze as she can be. She knew she couldn’t make any promises, didn’t want to make them anyway, but she wanted to keep an open mind and heart, even if it would probably take quite a while before she was ready to work on their shared past and future relationship and Maze seemed to understand that pretty well.</p><p>“I think that’s something I can do”, Maze replies and for Chloe that’s all the reassurance she needs.</p><p>“I’m ready, mummy”, Trixie interrupts their conversation and Chloe smiles at her daughter and gets up to bring her to bed but Trixie seems to have other plans.</p><p>“No mummy, you said we could have a sleepover, so we all gotta sleep in your bed”, Trixie argues and Chloe sighs a little at that, but before she can say something, Maze already tells her that she’s okay with that, making Trixie grin at her happily.</p><p>Trixie is smiling when she’s all tucked in between them while Chloe is reading a bedtime story to her and Maze is listening to the story as well. She quickly drifts off to sleep though and Chloe kisses her forehead and whispers “Love you, monkey”, and Maze can’t help but marvel at the softness of the moment.</p><p>Chloe relaxes too now that Trixie is asleep, and she can’t help the exhaustion she’s feeling in her bones after such a long and eventful day.</p><p>“Go get some sleep too, Decker”, Maze quietly tells her and Chloe wants to argue, but she didn’t have enough energy left for that either, so she simply nods and closes her eyes.</p><p>“Thank you”, Maze whispers after a long moment and hopes Chloe understands her, even if she couldn’t quite come up with more than those two words right now because of all the feelings she was trying to work through and figure out at once.</p><p>“Thank you for not running away again”, Chloe breathes out before falling asleep and the sight reminds Maze of the night in the hospital all those years ago, but this time it doesn’t feel heavy, this time it doesn’t feel like a goodbye, but like a welcome home and she would do everything in her power to never lose this feeling again.</p>
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